3 reasons why we should blow our own trumpet

I can remember growing up and hearing statements like “they are too big for their boots’ ‘they are cocky’ ‘they need knocking down a peg or 2’. Usually when people were confident and shared details of what they had achieved well. Now it makes me sad to think about how often we try and stop people from celebrating their wins. As as society we prevent people from saying they are good at things.

A big thing I do in my EMDR informed coaching is to actually try and encourage people to blow their own trumpet. Here are the reasons why I think this leads to growth.

1.It's not really all that often that other people will do this for us.

I don’t know, maybe it is just me but I do think we are bad at complimenting others. We don’t often tell others what we think they are good at. Yes I think people would benefit from having a cheer leader. Not all of us are lucky enough to have this. So maybe if we start doing it for ourselves, other people will follow. We would all start doing it for ourselves too.

2. There is a natural bias towards negativity so we need to blow our own trumpet to balance this out a little.

We are as human beings always fighting for survival. By default this makes us have a natural, negative bias towards negative things and danger. It’s because these things can actually become life threatening to us. So we have to focus on them so that we can stop them from happening and keep on surviving.

This can translate into us as humans just always noticing the negatives. We notice what we don’t do well. Noticing what we have failed at and what has caused us some distress. Sounds all a bit gloomy to me. So we need to find a way to get some light relief from this and focus more on the positivity.

3. What we focus on grows stronger.

If we start measuring things then we will notice we become more aware of them. It’s our brain’s attentional bias. We notice more of what we are focusing on. Have you ever had the experience of thinking of buying a new car and suddenly noticing that car everywhere? Yes? That’s the attentional bias.

So if we are blowing our own trumpet and focusing on what we are good at, perhaps this too will start to grow bigger? Maybe we will become more aware of those things that we are good at. It sounds better to me then focusing on the negative and noticing more of them.

So give it a go. Look back over your day. Reflect on your week. Celebrate those little wins. Focus on what has gone well. What have you achieved? What have you been really good at? I think this will feel positive even though it might be hard at first but do it and let me know how it goes.

Hi I'm Dr Hannah Bryan

I am a Chartered Clinical Psychologist and a Europe Accredited EMDR Facilitator and Consultant.

I have over 20 years experience in both the NHS and private practice.

But I am only human and like you have had my hard times and I have got many blocking beliefs that at times hold me back from me realising my potential and being my best.

Personally I have it helpful to use EMDR informed coaching to help me work things through and be in a position now where I have a thriving and inspiring psychology practice. It’s always a journey and I’m always working on my blocks, my mental health and my well being.

As well as coaching, I also provide psychological therapy and support other therapists training in EMDR, I am a Facilitator on training courses and offer specific supervision packages and training to support this.

Want to find out if I can help you? Book a free 15 minute consultation by clicking on the button now!